Hanging Chad by Naomi Elana Zener

Come on folks, step right up and gather round,
Look at the binders of men and women that I've found.
Intellect, charm, wit all for sale to serve thee.
Selection abounds at this slave auction, Democrat or GOP.
Political correctness, good taste, not the Elephant's strong suit.
Further irking pesky Liberals, Repubs now have ethnic support to boot.
If women's rights sounds like a 1950s oxymoron to you,
There are men and women to vote for that bleed Tea Party blue.
The Fetus is the cause célèbre du jour,
In political theater, they're the actor, oh so pure.
No matter how conceived, consensually or by Christ's will,
Lady, you're now a holy vessel, for you no Morning After Pill.
Broadway loving gays may decorate the White House, not the military.
Take your airport restroom tap dance to Canada for human rights equality!
Terrorists are the new 'black,' against whom united Conservatives stand.
Right to bear arms, large army, GOP's motto to protect this great land.
Lower taxes, cut social spending, sayonara Big Bird!
You're sick? No insurance? No doctor! Not a notion that's absurd.
Economy will thrive, foreign trade grow, middle class jobs to survive.
Wealthy and having a bleeding heart, two concepts that don't jive.
Then support the bayonet-wielding jackass wearing pink,
Morally superior, Democrats think their shit don't stink.
Universal healthcare, a cornerstone of domestic policy,
But, it comes at a price, in this town lunch ain't free.
To the stratosphere and beyond taxes will soar,
The man propelling this great idea, a philosophizing bore.
Donkey Kong will dazzle you with dead Bin Laden pie smashed in your face,
While from your bank account, disposable income disappears without a trace.
Fickle 'friend' of Israel, one day best buddies, the next bullying foe,
Yet women's rights remain paramount, abortion lives on with the right to say no.
Domestic agenda: gay rights, job creation, end foreclosures, reduce deficit.
If you make $250K or more, Dems chewing more of your money than they bit.
Right to marry, divorce bliss to be enjoyed by all.
From their perch, sanctimonious theocratic ideals to fall.
You're ill? Don't fret, medical insurance is made available for everyone.
Fewer deaths from lack of coverage, gone are undertakers' day in the sun.
Spend money to save, on the Bank of China become more reliant.
Not to be canceled, Oscar the Grouch smiling, to Liberals he's not defiant.
Democrat is the die you've cast in this modern era election race?
You won't have enough Rubles to fly Branson's rocket ship to space.
Conservative or Liberal, vote in a President for the Stars and Stripes,
Live for four years with your choice, let the media air your gripes.
If between a rock and hard place you now sit, don't be sour.
Fly north of the 49th parallel and join me in my satirical tower.

© 2012. Naomi Elana Zener. All rights reserved.