I’m at Camp ISIS Intifada.
My joy for killing infidels I’ve been feigning!
Moved dead bodies, got poison ivy.
Stuck doing dishes after dinner,
So, he’s banned her image from Aleppo city.
And, while I don’t want to scare you,
They may now know that dad’s a half-Jew!
I was lured here under pretence of deception!
Bring me home, oh muddah, faddah.
Bring me home, I can’t do no Intifada.
Please don’t leave me, here in Syria,
Bring me home, I won’t make any radical noise,
Or, mess the house with my jihadist toys.
Don’t make me stay here, they’re fucking crazy;
If we don’t kill enough people they say we’re lazy!
Dearest faddah, darling muddah,
How's my precious little bruddah?
Keep him out of ISIS Internet chatrooms;
Or, soon he’ll be here with me cleaning bathrooms!
Wait a minute; someone’s coming.
Guns are shooting, guys are running.
Muddah, faddah, I’ll be dead before you get this letter!
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