“Wait, aren’t you sending the reviewers copies of my book?”
A long silence ensued.
“I didn’t stop reading the paper. I’d have seen the obits. Didn’t you get my voicemail message?”
“May your new agent and novel set off a seven-figure bidding war amongst the big publishing houses. May it become the ‘IT’ book of the year when it comes out on the market. After all my hard work it better be.”
“You think you and your little book suddenly became popular when you weren’t looking? I’ve been schlepping my arthritic ass across this great state of California over the past ten months, going from Internet café to Internet café, paying in cash, wearing disguises, opening thousands of dummy email accounts to follow you on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Shminterest, liking your Facebook page, writing four and five star reviews for your book on Goodreads and Amazon, and god knows what else, acting as your one-woman marketing team.”