My home is my castle,
stylish and classy,
Eclectic design with a
splash of sassy.
Upon announcing that our family was growing,
Upon announcing that our family was growing,
The news was met with joy
and a sense of foreboding.
Shocked as we swore never
to procreate,
Friends laughed amused by
this twist of fate.
They said "You'll love
your child, but your home will never be the same."
“Prepare for messes, wall
destruction and furniture mame!”
Thankful for their caution,
I vehemently disagreed,
For our child will be
raised to be well-behaved indeed!
Taught not to touch without
first asking permission,
Adults and kids living in
symbiosis was our vision.
With our darling munchkin's
arrival,
Determined to ensure our
adult survival.
Lilliputan-friendly spaces
were fostered.
Promising amiable living
our lives not to be doctored.
The three of us plodding
along in harmonious coexistence.
After time passed did that
advice begin to make sense.
Puzzled by how friends used
to compliment our taste.
How could they now come in
and disrespect our space?
For it was not our child
who wreaked havoc and mayhem,
It was their little
monsters who were creators of bedlam.
Why is it when kiddies
entered the scene,
Our ‘friends’ enabled their
children's behaviour so obscene?
Screaming loudly and
jumping on my furniture,
Proving a wrestling career
only lay in their future.
Without asking they fed
their rugrats on our velvet chair,
Spilling their drink and
leaving crumbs everywhere!
Dumbfounded I wondered if
they'd heard of a plate,
I'd like to lock them up
with their kids in my dog's crate!
Taunting our dog resulting
in barking like he's in prison,
These little monsters and
their procreators caused in us an aneurism!
Touching anything in sight
without asking first!
Destroying our belongings
my temper about to burst!
Driving us insane without a
care in the world,
These parents do not
discipline their unruly herd.
‘Do they do this at home?’
I wondered in a moment contemplation.
Surely they must as it's
furnished like a third world nation.
Adding insult to injury
they talk about their kids non-stop,
Incessant one-sided chatter
about them causes my head to pop!
Love your babes but no one
wants to hear a narrative play-by-play,
About each fart, ounce of
food, spit up and everything they do everyday.
Worse still they inquire
nothing about my petite wonder.
My anger is bubbling in my
heart I feel the rumble of thunder!
No matter how you choose to
live this home is mine, not yours!
Please remove your kids at
once for their behaviour I abhor!
Angel faced children only a
mother could love,
Ones that were not heaven
sent from above.
No longer a fan of other
people's children,
My home will they never
again be in.
While I admit any child can
be messy and overly excited at times,
Outside of your home
parents don't enable, make them tow the line.
And when your friend has a
child after which you should inquire and don't,
You cannot expect such
friendship to last as it won't.
So for now I put our
friendship and your kids out to pasture to roam,
Leave my house, learn to
reciprocate, but leave your kids at home!
© 2020. Naomi Elana Zener. All Rights Reserved.
